Much of
whether you experience anger depends on whether or not you perceive these
events as a threat.In other words,
we create our own anger (just as we create our own happiness, sadness, or
any other emotion).This means that
we are in control of how much anger we experience. By changing your
perception of a situation, you can control how angry you feel.
Interrupt the anger response:Most of us have heard the advice,
"If you are angry, count to ten before you say or do
anything."This is good
advice.By focusing your attention
on a mundane task like counting, you give yourself a chance to calm
down.Once you are calm, you can
think more clearly about what you are feeling and why.More importantly, you can plan a course
of action to resolve the situation more effectively.
Re-evaluate the situation:Unfortunately, when we are angry, our
thinking often become irrational. We make assumptions about what others
are thinking (e.g. "he thinks he's better than me") or what
their motives are (e.g. "she is doing this because she knows it will
bother me"). We also tend to male rash judgments about others (e.g.
"he's an idiot") and overgeneralizations (e.g. she always acts
this way"). Problems arise when we act as if these assumptions,
judgments, and overgeneralizations are true. The next time you become
angry, evaluate your thinking.Are
you making irrational assumptions, rash judgments, or
overgeneralizations?Review the
situation and see if you can come up with another interpretation.Consider alternative explanations for
why somebody did what they did. Evaluate whether your judgments and
generalizations are true.By
re-evaluating the situation, you broaden your interpretation of events
that you initially perceived as threatening.As a result, they may not seem so
offensive.
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